I am in no way a fighter. My heart may be one of a fighter, with all the thoughts that have been running through my head... but when it comes to actually going about and doing what it is that I want to do... well I can't. I just can't do it. I can't even open my mouth to TALK. I just can't. And the saddest part of it is that I will never, ever be able to really let someone in.
I think I was built for inner turmoil. I can't never let myself be at peace. I'll always be in hiding. I'll always look to others to help me out and hold my hand through the hardest times that I have to face.
All my life I've always had the mindframe of mind your own business and to keep my mouth shut so as to avoid confrontation and tension and conflict. All my life! And it's not like it's gonna take me a semester to knock this barrier down, and I should have fucking known better.
