Entry: I should've known Monday, July 02, 2007



There's one particular word that I despise and get let down so many times by. I should've known that it would happen... and I should've known that I  would overreact to it happening.


Forgot.  "I'm sorry, I forgot." .... Well that's just great because  just what am I supposed to do now? How can you forget someone you consider to be important to you ? How can you , especially when you know that that person has had a rough couple of days and is still upset?  I guess I'm really not all that important to him.

I feel so hurt by the people who are important to me and it sucks because I can't talk to anyone because the people who I want to talk to aren't near me right now.

And I hate this uncontrollable crying. I hate  that I can't stop. I hate that there's this pain in my chest because of her and him and my whole situation.  I hate that I don't have the means to live independently from my parents. I wish I lived on my own  and had a steady job. I wish I didn't care so much about what they thought of what I do. I wish I had the confidence to do what I want to do and what makes me happy. But they still have a hold on me and i care too much.

I want to be able to go on a road trip and just drive and drive until something catches my interest, stop and explore, then get in my car and continue. I want to be able to not have to call anyone or be obligated to tell people where  I'm going....
to be free is what I want , and it's something that I'm having a hard time getting.

I wish to be understood without having to explain myself. Can't anyone read me?

   1 comments

cracked-mirror
July 3, 2007   05:21 AM PDT
 
*kick* stupid boy...

baby baby, perks of being a wallflower... you blend in sometimes. regardless, you're beautiful and marvelous and the boy doesn't realize what he's got and what he can just as easily lose.

wanna drive down the shore one day? i don't have directions so we'll probably get lost =) we can stay in a hotel or motel or even camp on the side and just chill... no boys allowed

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